Deep Stuff.

So lately I have been feeling like everyone has been so philisophical in the Facebook statuses and everything. So I figured that instead of posting it on Facebook where there will be questions and sympathetic comments I would post it on here. This Christmas, well this whole year, I have been really thinking about my uncle. I'm not really sure why but he has been on my mind a lot. Mostly things like, what was he like? What would he be like if he were still alive? Would we have an awesome relationship? Everyone always says that he would have loved me and we would have gotten along great. I hope that is true. I wonder if I would have a few more cousins and another aunt. I think about how different Christmases would be. Having the uncle I never knew there. Another thing I really long for is to see the way my grandparents, my dad, and my uncle acted when he was in their lives. I know that all four of them changed so much when he passed away and I never got to know those people. I know that they are happy now, but I also know that they changed a lot. He was a big part of their lives. He was their first child, the big brother, and a friend. He has been on my mind for a very long time. I wonder what he was like constantly. I have so many questions for him, and for my family. But I also know that it is a painful subject for all of them. His birthday and the day he died are such sad days for all of them. I don't want to make them any more painful for any of them. I would really just like to know him, and who he used to be. I really think we would have gotten along and been great friends. I guess I will have to wait until Heaven to start that friendship. I hope he is wishing for the same thing and that we get along great. Until then, I guess I'm left wondering.