2 Months Later...

So it has been almost 2 months since my first post. I'm just sitting in my room watching twilight and wandering aimlessly through the internet. Last week was Spring Break! It was fun, I went to see Remember Me with my mom and Abby, it was an amazing movie, with a twist at the end you wouldn't believe. For whatever reason it just moved me beyond words. I connected with it, and I'm not really sure how at all whatsoever. For my Birthday just had a small party and got my Kindle! Dj's Mimi made me a blanket with my 2 favorite colors and I love it! I also got The Princess and the Frog, it came out on my Birthday so it had to have been a sign. I needed it! So it turned out pretty darn good. (: Classes are going well, except for Philosophy...I don't much care for everyone's interpretation being right. That isn't how it works, and my teacher is pretty frustrating. Can't wait for summer to start, roadtrippin' it with Abby all the way back to Houston! It is going to be a blast.

The past 2 days have just been a lot of...I'm not really sure what. I've just been lonely, with everyone around me and not really being alone at all. Confused is probably a better word. I have these spells, and it is frustrating, why me? I know there are people who have a lot more problems and heartache, yet I'm the one who gets depressed and has awkward mood swings. I miss Dj, I see him everyday, and yet...I miss him like he isn't here. There is just something that is keeping me away from him. I just need him to hold me and kiss me and tell me that everything is okay, that nothing has changed, that he is still mine forever. That this is just one of my weird insecure moments and nothing will ever change. He is my always and my forever and I could never stand losing him again. But we have moved passed that and are at a place I never thought we would be. We are in a relationship that is just so us, its not like anyone else's. No one understands us, and they judge, I think that is a very hard thing. I don't like people telling me its like we aren't in a relationship and that it's normal. It's not. We are so different all of the things we have been through together, and the things that brought us back together after the most unthinkable things. I know it might not make sense to anyone else, but it makes sense to me. Isn't that all that matters? The two of us and what we feel is real. That is the important thing. So why do I let what people say get to me? There is no question in my mind that he is here for the long run, and so am I.

Well I think I have let out my frustrations enough for one night. I got out all of the things on my mind at the moment. I know there will be more soon and I know you will listen. I don't know who you is, I am sure no one reads this. But getting it off my chest and not just saved onto my computer helps. Its like therapy. So thank you.